Its Time To Lose Control

You know what, if I want to drink a beer, I'm gonna drink a beer.
Really, if I want to get fucked up, I'm gonna get fucked up.
I NEVER drive drunk. Plain and simple.
Maybe I dont want to tell you every detail of my life.
Get over it. Leave it alone. Notice I didnt say Leave "me" alone.
Just deal. Like every other person in the world does. You dont have to know everything. By wanting to know everyting you become annoying. Just Be.

I think you all have enough issues of your own you could deal with, that neither I or my brother talk about or pry about. We, all 4 of us are all adults, and ya'll can come to us just as easily or as more difficultly than you thihk. Wait, did that make sense???What Im saying is YOU ARENT PERFECT. PLEASE. Get off your high horse and realize you may play a part of fucking your kids up. How they scream at their children. Or have other issues to deal with. I find it odd that I can 100% self diagnose myself, yet if I even mention it to you, you become The Martyr who Did the Best They Could.

You know what??? I have issues that I have learned to deal with. I dont need another shrink, christian councelor, or any other third party to explain what my problem is. I have issues with YA'LL that are my problem. I mean fuck, I LOVE it cold in my room. If you dont sleep in here, then why do you care how cold it is??? Get over it!! You sleep in a fricking snow suit every night...I would sweat my ass off in 10 minutes!!!!! I dont say anything about it because I dont care...You dont need to say anything about it either!!!!!

You know I have had a sleeping problem since I was a child...why does it come as such a shock to you, 33 years in, that I have a sleeping problem?? I mean really. Get the fuck over it, I cant sleep. Its been 33 years now. Act like you know something about me, Im an insomniac, I have sleeping problems, whatever.

Damn, I totally lied tonight. I DO LOVE DRINKING BEER. I actually DONT, however, get drunk and drive. Despite your popular belief. I dont want to lose my license for ONE DAY again...man, i have learned my lesson. Fuck that noise. But just because I like to drink beer does not an alcoholic make. I make GOOD decisions. I have my shit togheter. Yall make whatever judgements/asumptions you want.

Damn Im not even done ranting, but man, Leave Me Alone!!!!! Just for the night, let me be!!!

Single Serving Friends, and I Dont Mean Tyler Durden

I've had alot of what I like to call "Single Serving Friends", or those who only befriend you for a single day at a time, like when they want something. And it always pains me to find out who those single serving friends are when I just didnt see it coming. This particular person I thought had become a great friend, a real BFF, someone I just clicked with. We had alot in common, and we just "got each other". I would sometimes see the "SSF" shine through in her, but thought no, she's just having a bad day, or whatever other excuse I could come up with.

But now, the more and more I think about it, I think that we DID become BFFs, but then something changed to turn her into SSF. She introduced me to some of her friends, but now I hang out with them and she cant, becuase she is married with 3 little kids. She makes it a point now to exclude me on certain things. She now has a new SSF who she never hung out with before, who is now attached at her hip.

I dont know, I guess maybe I am just whining, but it honestly does hurt my feelings when this happens. At least just be honest and an adult, ya know? Dont use me. Dont talk about how everyone else in town isnt honest and loves to talk behind backs instead of just coming to your face, etc. then turn around and do the same thing. Im almost sorry we met, because now I just dont trust a word you say. I dont know what your motives are at any given time. Ive done nothing but not judge you and be your friend, but I guess that wasnt good enough. I wish you were Tyler Durden, because at least he isnt real.

TAG! You're It!

Tag! You're It!
I just got tagged on a friend's blog, so I'm it! If you have a blog, YOU'RE IT! Stef

8 Things I Look Forward To:

Moving to Austin in a few months, and hopefully settling down.
Having a boyfriend again
Making new friends
Finding a job, making money, and SHOPPING!!
Having my own place again
Watching The Wrestler tonight
Going to Wilmington to go surfing with Simmons soon!

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
Slept and battled a migraine
Watched "Doubt"....great movie.
Smiled about the night before
Made and ate a sausage and egg scramble for breakfast.
Laundry
Cleaned the house
Got asked out on a date by a 22 year old.
Accepted!

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
Be independently wealthy so I only had to work if I wanted to, not because I have to.
Move tomorrow
Tell him how I REALLY feel and what I REALLY want from us
Get the tattoos I want RIGHT NOW
Get all my belongs back
Sing and/or play the guitar
Breakdance
Find a Good job!!

8 Shows I Watch:

Project Runway
Top Chef
Daisy of Love/Rock of Love
Southland
The Office
Breaking Bad
LOST
Intervention

Dont hate me because I'm beautiful, cuz this shit costs a fortune.

It truly baffles the mind how much women will pay to look pretty. Or rather, how much vendors charge for merchandise, although they are on the right track...cuz women will pay for it!! Let's take for example Dickies. Every guy I know lives in Dickies. Why, cuz they look cool and they cheap. Like $15 per pair cheap. So, my ex and I go to the Dickies Store, where I find an awesome mini-skirt. For the same price as THREE pairs of men's pants, I can buy a 12x30 inch piece of denim. WTF!! Of course, it was super cute and looked hot, so I had to buy it.

Another case in point, this wedding I am in this weekend. I will be out $350 before even putting any clothes on!! Hair, nails, makeup. Then factor in dress, shoes, accessories, and purse. I did actually get my dress and shoes on sale, and remarkably spent less than $150 on both. And I did get a dress that will break the cardinal rule of not wearing the same dress to more than one function. This is definately a re-wearable dress, so I hope to have some use for it some other day.

So guys, when your woman asks you does this make me look fat, do I look good, or some other variation of the same question, for god sake tell her she looks beautiful. It would blow your mind how much time, money, and effort went into the look. We pretty much always think you look "fine", unless of course we bought and picked out your outfit for you.

Thanks for Flying the Friendly Skies- Part 2

MAN!! I love blogging while I am on an airplane!! So much shit and so many people to talk about!! LOL First off let me tell you that I am at the end of the fuckin’ earth here in aisle 32, seat F. Yep, the one right next to the bathroom. At the very back of the plane. On the window. You know, I booked this ticket over 6 weeks ago, I don’t feel that I deserve this placement. The dude sitting next to me (BTW is 6’2” middle seat, already tried to switch with me, I said NO) got his ticket last night. WTF? I get the fucking literally LAST seat on the plane?? OK man.

Ok, so, D-Bag sitting next to me, who is like 25, just told me that he is a Record Exec from Chicago who manages the “Urban Genre”. Ummmmm, so the Rap music? I asked him what the “Urban Genre” consisted of, and he was lacking for an answer. Couldn’t really tell me anything. Urban….I’m thinking Hip Hop? Go-Go? Reggae? Punk?? Industrial?? Shit, throw me a bone here, guy. He sealed his fate as a punk ass intern liar after he asked me what type of music I liked. I mentioned punk, and he said Yeah! I love Punk Music!! Like Blink 182 “All the Small Things”?? Ummm…yeah, pretty much NO. I mentioned Reggae, oh yeah Dude he LOVES some Bob Marley. Which, I guess that is a start; I would just think a “record exec” would know his stuff. Oh and also, I mentioned he was in the middle seat in the very end row?? It was because his “secretary” totally screwed up his travel arrangements. Uh, don’t you think you could have upgraded to First Class then?? For god sake, what a TOOL!! I’m thinking the chick sitting next to him is buying it though. Hey, I guess that’s what single serving friends are all about.

Ok, so its been forever!

Since I last visited here. I know there are some voyeurs out there that have been fiending for this, but I guess I've just had other things on my mind and just been putting my energy into other things. Since I have last written, my Grandmother passed away, at 8pm on March 4th. Although difficult, it was for the best. We miss her dearly every day but she is not forgotten!

I can not WAIT for this weekend to be over with. Rhondas wedding is this weekend, and what with all the preparation, expenses, etc. it's been super stressful and I will be glad when it is all over with. I think that we have planned a gorgeous night, but again, just cant wait for it to be over with. I leave for Austin to see Meredith that following Wednesday, and I am STOKED!!! I cant WAIT to have a REAL vacation!! We have alot of fun things planned, including some touristy things, and we'll be doing some apartment searching as well. I'm also looking forward to seeing Watson that little Bitch!! :) Its been a long time!

Ok well, I wrote a blog while on my way to Denver, but never uploaded it. I"ll do that now. It's much more entertaining than this one is. More to come!!

Why Am I Not (in)Famous?

I cant take full credit for this blog, as I owe the idea to my other favorite blogger, The Superficial Writer, at www.thesuperficial.com. But seriously, why am I not famous? Why has it become acceptable for stars and starlets to look like warmed over shit these days and make millions, yet I keep up appearances, go to the gym, eat right, and barely make enough to scrape by each month? Who can I speak to about this?

Britney Spears loses her shit completely, is put under a strict conservator ship by her Father and is still the most photographed woman in the world? I lose my shit, move in with my parents for a bit, and cant even get a date. What gives?

Whitney Houston, beloved "Bodyguard" Actress, singer of "How Will I Know" (my first tape ever purchased with my own money), marries New Edition star Bobby Brown, becomes literally a crack head, and gets her own TV Show. I do some drunken karaoke, party a little too hard, yet I can barely pay my own Direct TV bill. What is this shit?

Mickey Rourke. A GREAT actor. Tells the world to FUCK OFF, we're doing it my way. He wins an Oscar and a Golden Globe. I tell anyone to Fuck Off and I end up in jail! It's happened more than once, folks. WTF? **Although, I do have to give MR a little credit...he ruined his own career to tell people to fuck off and did basically become the equivalent of a cigarette butt in a beer in Hollywood for the past 20 years....I do, however, salute you, Mickey Rourke. You rock.

Madonna. Ok Madonna, What the FUCK is going on with you these days. I know, I know, rumors abound you, but seriously, it is time to stop with taking the testosterone. You are growing a BEARD. You look like the Crypt Keeper. Yet you are banging Alex Rodriguez of HOT ASS MLB Fame?? I know your Kabbalah water is not that strong.

Jessica Simpson...poor girl. I hate to even mention her. For years she has been "the pretty sister", and now that red-headed stepchild Ashley got a nose job, a husband and a baby, Jessica is out like yesterday's dishwater. Jessica's recent Wardrobe Choices are doing little to recreate her image. I can relate to Jess, though; us big busted weight fluctuates more than the stockmarket, and one poor wardrobe choice can add ten pounds. Has she really gotten fat? I doubt it. Does she need to be mindful of what she wears and how she is photographed? Absolutely. Should I be dating an NFL Quarterback cuz I have big boobs and a curvy ass? Sure, why not.

You get the picture. I'm not seeing many stars these days that are really earning their dollar. Are there any agents out there doing nationwide casting calls? You've got my number.